What’s Coming Up?
Guest Author: Jay Nelson | Phoenix Six Leadership Coaching
Kerry asked me to contribute an article for her newsletter a couple of months ago and mentioned that the theme would be emergence. I didn’t know it, but that set me thinking about the word and the concept to such a degree that the past few weeks I have been deliberate in pausing to become more aware of how I feel or what I’m thinking and why–how I’m embodying my thoughts, where they come from, what they mean, and what that meaning leads me to do.
What I have noticed is the need to sit with whatever I am feeling. There’s this need to become more aware and inquire into the why and wherefore of this feeling or thought. In body, mind, and spirit–trying to get to the root of whatever it is that’s pestering me. This is in direct contradiction to the world, with its scrolling and instant gratification. We don’t live in a world given to pauses or reflection.
I’m sure all of you have heard of the story of the Lotus Blossom and I think it’s illustrative. A lotus Blossom begins its life at the bottom of a body of water in the muck and begins to grow from a seedling all the way to the surface of the water, then blooms in its glory for all the world to see. Once it has bloomed, it sits atop the water and takes in the sun, feeding itself with life-giving chlorophyll all the way to its roots deep in the muck below.
I’m a fly fisherman and I am reminded of the Mayfly as well. The mayfly starts as an egg under the surface of the water, attached to a rock, where it grows to a nymph, molting and growing several times over the course of months until it becomes a fully fledged mayfly and spends a day merrily buzzing over the surface and mating, then coming to the end of its lifecycle.
I think there are many lessons to be gleaned here, but I want to use both the lotus blossom and the mayfly as parallel to some work I have been doing in awareness of what’s going on inside my own heart and mind as I get older.
Simply put, this practice is described in three words: Awareness–Presence–Breath.
It all starts with awareness. Awareness of the seedling or the nymph of something that vexes–a feeling, a sensation, a thought. I become aware of it in my conscious mind or in my body.
Once the awareness arrives–in its own time and space, I sit with what’s coming up, what’s emerging. This is often the hardest part for me–going from the unknown or barely known problem or feeling to something I can acknowledge and start to experience fully.
This is Presence. Merely being present with it so that I can look at it, feel it more deeply. Always from a distance, so that my emotions don’t dictate my response, not yet anyway. Once I have an idea of what it looks like, how heavy it is, where it comes from, then the emotions show up–fear, anger, sadness. So I feel it. I let the fear in, let the anger warm me, let the sadness lead me to tears. Whatever it takes to be comfortable with the discomfort.
After the emotions are spent, I breathe. Nothing fancy, just some breathing to get back to me–maybe box breathing, four in, four out. Or something more settling-four in, six out until I can feel my shoulders relax, my jaw unclench, my back loosen up, feel the burden lift. In this way, I can welcome it in, integrate it, embody it. Work into and with it.
What emerges from this practice is…a lotus blossom? A Mayfly ready to reproduce?
Maybe. Maybe it’s a memory resolved, a person forgiven, a message sent. What I have found is this is a great practice to get in between the constant distractions we live with daily–work, social media, the news, the drama of life. These very real things pull us away from the inner work we are often called to do–softly but no less urgently. And in doing so, it shows a path to see what’s really going on inside and what we need to do about it–not the need to work or look after others or scroll as a way to distract from what we really need.
Awareness, Presence, Breath
It’s a practice to get me back to me and what I need so that I can handle all the other things that are coming up. I hope you find it helpful.
Jay Nelson spent 23 years as a U.S. Army Infantryman, Logistician, and Strategist before founding Phoenix Six Leadership, where he coaches leaders at every level — from those just stepping into their first leadership role to seasoned executives navigating complexity and change. His approach is grounded in the belief that the best leaders lead with heart, and that doing so requires the kind of inner work most of us are too busy — or too distracted — to do. This issue, Jay brings that same honest, reflective spirit to our theme of emergence, offering a simple but powerful three-part practice for getting back to yourself amid the noise of daily life. Visit Phoenix Six Leadership Coaching to learn more.
